Counseling can be viewed as a battle of wills. I have a great deal of education and almost forty years experience in the field. I believe it is my responsibility to dispel misconceptions and help my customers view a positive interpretation of the universe. My customers are job seekers and fellow counselors.
There is a famous quote, “All forces, powers, and energies are neither good nor evil in themselves. They are completely neutral, but only become good or evil when they are intelligently directed.” Indeed, good and bad are value judgments and there are many different views of everything we experience.
The universe will place obstacles in our path. Few things unfold exactly as we expect. The future is a guessing game and even the most carefully constructed goals require fine tuning as we move forward. These are realities of walking the path called life.
Employment counseling customers have the experience of being unsuccessful and a myriad of reasons why they have not attained their wants, desires, goals. I understand that when challenges appear too formidable or something does not work in our favor, it is easier on our ego to cast blame or dispersion. I cannot help but think that avoidance and retreats (quitting, getting sick, substance abuse) are responses to the fear of facing our vulnerability. I see them as protection mechanisms designed to comfort fragile human façades. The past is filled with wounds and distortions. We all have memories of being chastised or laughed at when we’ve made “mistakes.”
Clearly the “myriad of reasons” or excuses may be quite valid. Certainly failures and rejection attack our self worth and it can become more difficult when others in our environment support negative views.
I may empathize, sympathize and understand, but I really do not care why they have failed. My job is to foster resilience because in the long run greatness belongs to those who challenge their fears and take the risks necessary for success. It is just not true that because something happened before that it will reoccur exactly as it has in the past. It is not true that the individual I am counseling is a “loser.” Each is unique with special gifts, an angle waiting to be set free. If they become consciously aware of the true obstacles, I believe we can move in a positive direction. And, when I really do well, we can embrace Marianne Williamson’s concept, “ Our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? “